A Horizon Moment

Today was one of those rare mornings where I spent the morning with a knot in my stomach. Normally mornings are somewhat stress free and the evenings bring on anxiety as the stress from the day takes its toll.

It's June 1st...rent is due and I knew I still had some checks to clear and honestly trying to figure out how much I'd be left with in my checking account left me feeling quite nauseated. It wouldn't have been quite so bad if I hadn't decided to get sick last week which resulted in doctors' copays and debits for prescriptions. That's not to say I'm not grateful for insurance because I am, but after awhile all of those copays add up.

And I'm trying to be careful with how I spend my money, but it's rather discouraging to constantly be in the position of not being able to pay my rent on time or to struggle with how to pay the monthy bills. So I sat on my couch this morning eating my breakfast and wondering how I was going to be able to handle this month financially. Oh, did I mention that I still don't have a job lined up for this summer? Yes I'm still babysitting Jeremy but that yields about $100 or a so a week on a good week....not quite enough to pay my $975 rent let alone the car and insurance bills. There's 19 more days of school left....most teachers can't wait for the end of school. Me? I'm dreading the end of the school year.

Anyway....I'm reading in my devotional book and these are the verses highlighted for today: Psalm 18:30 and Isaiah 41:13. Psalm 18:30 says "As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him." Isaiah 41:13 says "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."

Now I'm thinking "that's great....can you help me out with the rent God?" Seriously...I'm thinking this as the knot starts to grow. I go to work with the phrase "Do no fear; I will help you" stuck in my head and eventually over the course of the morning I'm starting to feel less anxious.

When I come home there's a card in the mail. The card is from a friend who got a little bit extra from God and decided to share it with me. The check inside was for $300. After finally getting up the courage to look at my finances I realized that this actually brings me very close to what I need for rent this month. I get paid on Friday which will make up the difference.

Sometimes I actually get very clear and direct answers to my prayers.