"Do not worry about your life" Mathew 6
Since I grew up in Staten Island you may have assumed that I am comfortable driving in the city. The reality is that my mom had an intense fear of driving in the city until after I graduated from college and I suffered from that same fear. In fact, many years ago I remember thanking an ex-boyfriend for driving me to the city for a date because I love spending time in the city but would never have dared go there unless someone else was driving.
The first time Ray suggested I drive into the city for an event I thought he was out of his mind. Then I thought I was the crazy one as I somehow let him talk me into doing it. Among his various other talents Ray has the uncanny ability to get me to do things I would never, ever, in a million years consider doing all the while reassuring me that things will be all-right. The first few times I drove into the city I thought I was going to have a panic attack both before and during the drive, but I did alot of praying and each time I gained more confidence.
Last week Ray informed me that it was his brother-in-law's birthday on Sunday and that we were invited to their apartment in downtown for the celebration. It was beautiful day and we had a great time. That's when the realization hit me on the drive back. This was the first time I could remember not feeling any stress prior to or during the drive. Don't get me wrong, there were throngs of pedestrians crossing the street, impatient cab drivers either honking at me or trying to hit my car, and I still forgot that the left lane on the West Side Highway will lead me to the Lincoln Tunnel if I don't move over. The difference was that not of those things really bothered me. It was just another day of driving. Maybe one day I'll feel the same way about rollercoasters or jumping off a diving board :).
