A Step in the Right Direction

Wednesday was a rough day in the classroom.  Not that it was the worst day ever - far from it - but I spent a good 20 min or so fighting with a kindergarten student to put on his jacket to go out to recess.  He was having no part of it.  I wasn't about to let him go out without it on.  He screamed, hit, and clawed at me.  Neither of us won.  We didn't go out to recess and he didn't wear his coat.  Thankfully this isn't a daily event.  It was, however, one of those events that made me think as I walked out the door for my lunch break "How do you expect to get a teaching job when you can't even get this simple task done."

After school I work with one of the groups that stay late for math support.  These are all typical 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders.  There's around 40 of them and it's seriously hard for me to get all of these kids out of the cafeteria, down the hall, up the stairs, and to their classrooms quietly.  Actually, it's never happened.  No matter how many times I've had them practice lining up or how many times I've stopped them in the hall it is impossible for the front, middle, and back of the line to be quiet all at once.  Usually it's just the group of students that I'm standing closest to that will listen.  During these times that little voice screams instead me "You are not a good teacher because these kids don't listen or respect you."

I came home to find an email from a school district I had interviewed at.  Usually the beginning of these emails are all the same.  This one wasn't.  This one said "We would like to hire you for our Special Education Extended School Year Program....".   I'm sorry, what?  I read it 4x.  Did I just get a teaching job?  After six years of being a substitute or an assistant I finally received an offer from a school district in Westchester.  I should have felt elated.  All I felt was overwhelmed.

The commute is a solid 40 minutes one way, the hours are from 7:30am-3pm, and my students will be lower functioning than the current classroom I'm in.  In fact there will be 9 or 10 students in my class and I'll have 9 or 10 TA's ....one for each student.  Throw in a speech therapist, a psychologist, an OT, and a behaviorist, and I'm working with more adults than kids.  This job is completely out of my comfort zone.  The job starts in July and already I want to have a panic attack.

I don't know how I'm going to get up everyday at 4:30 or 5am to get to work ontime.
I don't know what age group I'm working with or the exact nature of the students' disabilities.
I don't know what the staff will be like.
I'm not sure when the program ends or if it even starts at 7:30 (during the interview they mentioned the exact hours hadn't been established yet).
I don't know what the pay is.

Here's what I do know:

God provided this job for me because with His help I can do all things.
Every day will not go perfectly but that doesn't mean I'm not a good teacher.
The pay will be much better than what I am used to making during the summer.
I will not have to work two jobs this summer.
The experience will be the catalyst for my future.
During the days when I fail at my job I can rely on God's grace to get up another day and do it all again.

Delphinium

Several weeks ago I was thinking about having a word to define this year.  Not just any word, but a word given to me by God.  I thought and thought, but nothing was striking me as particularly significant.  Then I asked God what word He wanted to give me (yeah, I probably should have done that first).  The next word that popped into my head was Delphinium.  Now, if you asked me to name my favorite flower it would be hyacinth.  The Delphinium was definitely not one on my radar!

So, I went online and looked up flower meaning.  Guess what the meaning of the Delphinium is...it is a symbol of infinite possibility and believing that anything is possible.  According to the symbolism page I should keep stretching my current beliefs and keep reaching for the stars, one baby step at a time.  This is exactly how I feel about my faith at the moment.  I know quite a bit about God and I've been through alot with God, but I'm at a point where I need to start believing that God wants to make the seemingly impossible in my life, possible.  After all, didn't Jesus say to his disciples that if they had faith as small as a mustard seed that they could move mountains?  I certainly have a few mountains that need moving and I'm praying that my small seed of faith will be enough for God.

Now that the weather is finally starting to warm up and the snow is melting, I'm beginning to think about planting a garden.  I brought several different kinds of seeds and a seed tray.  Guess which flower got added to my garden?  :)

A Tour of my House

This blog has taken me a long time and the formatting still isn't how I wanted it.  Not only that but a lot of improvements have been made since I've taken these pictures, but at least it gives you a glimpse as to what our new home looks like.

This is the view when you enter the front door.

And this is the view looking down from the kitchen.  Ray added the coat rack on the wall.  Since this picture was taken he's also added a small shelf near the door for coffee, keys, and mail.

So the kitchen is a bit outdated, but it works for now.  There's not a whole lot of counter space so Ray bought me a baking rack and then built the additional counter/shelves for storage.  If we're blessed to one day actually own this house one of the first projects will be to completely renovate this kitchen.  

This was a free dining room table that Ray's parents' neighbor was throwing up.  It had been a much lighter color.  Ray cleaned it up, stained it, and poly-urithaned it.  The china closet was a gift from one of our pastors.

The living room.  The futon separates the living room from the dining room.

The hallway.  We have a coat closet, a bathroom, a linen closet, and 3 bedrooms.  

The bedroom on the right is supposed to function as my writing room, or maybe, hopefully, nursery?  Currently it's where I dump all of my stuff...there will not be any pictures until there's something worth showing :).

Straight ahead is the guest room

   

On the left is our bedroom.

with an adjoining bathroom.

Here's the best part....the theater downstairs!

The space behind the screen is going to be used as an ironing/folding laundry/storage area.  It looks better now than when I took the picture, but it's still not functional.  Ray has since added light blocking curtains to the sliding glass door, a second shelf to his command unit behind the couch, a card table where all the stuff was by the sliding glass door, and a carpet in front of the couch.  Finishing include cleaning up the laundry area and adding movie poster (of course!).  Oh, and there's a half bath and storage closet down here.

I didn't take any pictures of the laundry room, Ray's workroom, or the garage.  Can I just say how much I love not having to haul my laundry out in all sorts of weather and collect quarters for the laundromat!  

This last picture is of our backyard....which is covered with snow....and is part of a large mountain.  I really, really, want to plant flowers, a fig tree, and vegetables.  Ray wants a fire pit and a hammock.  We'll have to see what happens in the spring!