What do you do when the pain runs too deep

when an "I'm sorry" just won't do?

How do you soothe a soul that's hurting,

torn and shredded by a trusted friend?

How do you undo the damage

of a lie believed?

Careless words have been twisted and rumors sent spinning

a cyclone of misunderstanding that cannot be stopped

its fuel gossip, a steady wind of whispers;

listen too closely and you'll hear it

right before it catches you up

landing you far from home

confused, furious,

betrayed.

Apologies can only go so far;

covering up the wounds

yet the scars still bleed raw.

Seek Yaweh Rapha

for He alone holds lasting balm

bringing freedom, restoring trust,

healing for a broken friendship.

More Pictures

These are pictures of my apartment the way it looks now.

The Weekend

It has been a crazy weekend! By Friday I still hadn't heard back from the woman renting an apartment in Upper Nyack. At the same time I was getting texts from my current landlady asking if I'd be able to have the apartment in show condition on Sunday since they'd be an open house. I told her that I would, but of course my apartment was nowhere near ready and I ended up stressing out about it. In addition, because I thought that I'd be moving this weekend I didn't have a plan for my cats during the open house which added to my stress. After an emergency phone call to my mom it was decided that she would pay for a large dog crate to temporarily store the cats in while the house was being shown.

By Saturday I managed to have my place mostly clean and the crate put in and placed in my room. I then sent a text to my landlord regarding some things in the apartment that he promised he'd fix but had never gotten around to. It was at this point that I learned the open house wasn't happening because they didn't believe that open houses worked. I wanted to scream, but at least I had an extra day to work on the cleaning. My landlords would love the house to be sold within a week, but if not then they'd like it to be sold within 2 months. We'll see how that goes. It will officially go on the market later tonight.

Concerning the place in Upper Nyack: I had asked the landlady if it would be possible to put on a door going into the bedroom. Most places do have bedrooms with doors on them and I really didn't think this would be a huge issue. I also asked if it would be possible for an outdoor light to be installed. I didn't expect either one to be done immediately, nor did I expect her to take so long in getting back to me. I spoke with her yesterday and she's thinking about my requests because she wants to take in a tenant who is completely happy with the apartment just the way it is. She told me that she would take a few more days to think about things.

I'd like to tell you that I've been completely calm and trusting of God during this process, but that unfortunately isn't true. I'm not completely a wreck either, but I have allowed myself to get stressed out, complain about the process, worry about the future, and want to cry over the smallest thing. However, God has been faithful to provide encouragement and hope during this time. These are just a few of the verses He's highlighted for me over the past couple of days.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

"...a righteous man will be remembered forever. He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is secure, he will have no fear..." Psalm 112:6-8

"The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made." Psalm 145:13b

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8

The Moving Process - In Pictures

I promise to upload more pictures later :) Also, the pictures are in reverse order. The last photo is what the apartment looked like at the start of this process and the top photo shows what it looked like today.

Why I've been MIA

It's been a while since I've last posted anything on here it seems. My usual busy life suddenly took a spin and become a literal whirlwind. I'm still in the middle of this storm and while it doesn't seem to be letting up anytime soon, I actually found myself with a few quiet moments to gather my thoughts and write.

I guess I should begin at the relative beginning, which would be about 3 weeks ago. That's when I officially started dating - that's right, I'm actually in a good/healthy relationship with a guy. His name is Ray....he's 36 years old and works for Kaplan. Sorry, I don't have any pictures of either him or us at the moment. He has already met my parents and I already know that he intends to marry me one day. Those are the basics....if you want more details you can either e-mail me or call :).

Shortly after I entered into a new relationship I was informed by my landlord that he's selling the house. He and his wife are planning on moving into an apartment because they can no longer afford the house. I've been in the process of apartment hunting as well as packing. I don't have to move quite yet necessarily, but my apartment does have to be in immaculate condition by April 16th when they are planning on showing the house. No pressure......I did see a very nice 1 bedroom apartment in Nyack today which is slightly less rent than I pay now. It's ready to move into now, but I will have to wait to see if the landlord agrees to have me as her tenant. She has a couple of other people looking at the place early next week.

About a week after I found out about my apartment I also found out that due to budget cuts I will no longer have my position as a teaching assistant next year. In addition to apartment hunting I'm also job hunting for September as well. I find both to be the equivalent of taking on another part time job.

Thankfully I have a vacation coming up starting April 15th! :) I'll have a week-long break in which I will either continue to pack and/or move, visit with my aunt and uncle who are flying in from Texas to stay with my parents, and go upstate with Ray for one of his friend's weddings. Oh, and spend Easter at Ray's parents' house. I may also do some babysitting in my spare time :). Who knows...maybe I'll actually get to write on here as well!