The Last Day of School

I should have been excited about today. After all it was the LAST day of school for the year! In reality we stopped actual teaching a while ago in order to focus more on packing up the classroom. There comes a certain liberation in being freed from the classroom itself for the summer though. While the kids can be challenging at times, I find the rest of the teaching world to be quite exhausting. This includes, but is certainly not limited to, waking up daily at 5:30am, providing counseling regarding personal issues, rubrics, grades, and assessments to both teachers and assistants alike, delving into the political minefield of teacher-teacher relationships as well as teacher-principal relationships, avoiding certain parents who are certifiable stalkers, and maintaining my composure during hour long meetings in which complaints are numberous and solutions few.

This year, although I was happy for the summer to begin, I was also grieving because I'm not entirely sure if I'm coming back next year or not. The plan was for me to move to 1st grade with this class. The letter sitting on my kitchen table states otherwise. Now, I realize that this isn't necessarily the end. Lots of things can change by the end of August and there may indeed be a reinstatement of my position. My thoughts on which way it'll go depends on the mood I'm in on any given day.

I left today without saying goodbyes. Ryan asked me if he'd see me next year in first grade. I had too much of a lump in my throat to answer him, so I simply gave him a hug and told him to have a good summer. Some of the other staff members asked if they would see me next year as well. My standard reply - "I don't know, hopefully". I couldn't bear the thought of not being in the building everyday and seeing these people who have become my friends, and so I left without saying any permanent goodbyes.

For now I'll continue to pray that I get an e-mail or a phone call with good news for September.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11