I thought I was going to be working with the same teacher and assistants this year but have different students. Instead I have the same students, but I'm working with a different teacher and assistants. The change was made because our nonverbal autistic student needs a one to one aide and apparently I was chosen for this task. It was a rather stressful transition. I like the people I'm working with, but they're very different than what I'm used to. Since the students are now in 2nd and 3rd grade we're focusing more on academics and less on social skills. This was hard because the students really need the social skills component and my nonverbal student isn't capable of academic work. Instead he needs to focus on learning how to communicate via an ipad and we still need to try and reinforce as much speech as we possibly can. We worked on getting him to say "eat" last year. He sometimes remembers how to do that. He also remembers how to make the sound of "m" when asking for milk. Thankfully with some adjustments to the schedule and curriculum things are going smoother this week. My student and I can also go back to the other class whenever he needs a sensory break and I just need a few moments of sanity :).
BTW, when I mean sanity I mean going and seeing the new autistic student we have who screams in the presence of loud noises, will randomly stand up with his pencil to "practice his golf swing", finishes his work by saying "Thanks for playing! Come again next time!", and who has literally thrown himself on my lap to giggle hysterically into my neck when he sees something funny on the computer screen. He keeps me laughing, that's for sure!
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Thursday, September 6, 2012
The Chair
Most Thursday nights you will find me at small group Bible study. A few weeks ago we were at one of our leaders' apartments. We were just sitting around and talking when all of a sudden the chair that one of the guys had been sitting on just collapsed from under him and he fell to the floor. This guy didn't have a weight problem and hadn't been doing anything unusual with the chair so it was a mystery as to why the chair just broke apart. The guys were going to throw it out but I convinced them to let me take it with to show Ray. I figured if anyone could put the chair back together he could - and he did.
After inspecting the broken chair pieces, Ray determined that the chair had been broken once before and that whoever had put it back together the first time had drilled screws into the wood. It seemed like a good temporary solution, however, what actually happened was that the screws weakened the wood. It was only a matter of time before the wooden legs gave away again.
This made me think: How many times have I been broken and tried to fill the hole in my heart with something that seemed good but were only temporary solutions such as alcohol, tranquilizers, and sex. Sure, I seemed fine on the outside but my inside was crumbling and it was only a matter of time before I broke down again. The only permanent solution to filling that hole was by turning to Christ, repenting, and remaining focused on Him. This doesn't mean that I'm perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it does mean that when I fail or when life seems hopelessly overwhelming that I can focus on Christ and be strengthened by Him. I may bend, but HE will NEVER let me be broken beyond repair. After all, HE's the master carpenter!
"A bruised reed He will not break,
And smoking flax He will not quench;"
Isaiah 42:3
"He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake."
Psalm 23:3
After inspecting the broken chair pieces, Ray determined that the chair had been broken once before and that whoever had put it back together the first time had drilled screws into the wood. It seemed like a good temporary solution, however, what actually happened was that the screws weakened the wood. It was only a matter of time before the wooden legs gave away again.
This made me think: How many times have I been broken and tried to fill the hole in my heart with something that seemed good but were only temporary solutions such as alcohol, tranquilizers, and sex. Sure, I seemed fine on the outside but my inside was crumbling and it was only a matter of time before I broke down again. The only permanent solution to filling that hole was by turning to Christ, repenting, and remaining focused on Him. This doesn't mean that I'm perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it does mean that when I fail or when life seems hopelessly overwhelming that I can focus on Christ and be strengthened by Him. I may bend, but HE will NEVER let me be broken beyond repair. After all, HE's the master carpenter!
"A bruised reed He will not break,
And smoking flax He will not quench;"
Isaiah 42:3
"He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake."
Psalm 23:3
Monday, August 27, 2012
Why I Still Don't Feel Like a Grown-Up
I seem to have too much time to think. I guess that's what happens when you're not working much. Anyway, lately I've been feeling more like a child and less like an adult. Maybe when I go back to my insane schedule I'll feel like a grown-up again, or at the very least I won't have as much time to think about it! :)
Signs I haven't grown up yet:
- I can sleep in until noon on a Saturday.
- I need my parents' financial support to help pay my bills.
- I still own some of my clothes from high school and can still fit into them.
- If I'm "cooking" for myself chances are I'm eating spaghetti and meatballs.
- If I don't feel like "cooking" chances are I'm eating Chef Boyadee from a can, mac and cheese, soup, or
some sort of frozen dinner.
- I can eat chocolate whenever I want and not have to share.
- I can come home whenever I want to, although if it's after 10pm I usually feel the need to sneak in so that
I don't wake up my landlady.
- Some days I don't make the bed until the middle of the afternoon.
- I'm still not confident in my curling iron skills or makeup application. Honestly, if I'm not attending a
wedding, chances are I'm not bothering with makeup.
- I still hear the phrases "Can I call you back? I need to pay the babysitter." and "Are you going to get your
degree so you can be a teacher?"
- I'm still scared of the dark, although I've made progress in this area. I'm not terrified of it anymore :).
Signs I haven't grown up yet:
- I can sleep in until noon on a Saturday.
- I need my parents' financial support to help pay my bills.
- I still own some of my clothes from high school and can still fit into them.
- If I'm "cooking" for myself chances are I'm eating spaghetti and meatballs.
- If I don't feel like "cooking" chances are I'm eating Chef Boyadee from a can, mac and cheese, soup, or
some sort of frozen dinner.
- I can eat chocolate whenever I want and not have to share.
- I can come home whenever I want to, although if it's after 10pm I usually feel the need to sneak in so that
I don't wake up my landlady.
- Some days I don't make the bed until the middle of the afternoon.
- I'm still not confident in my curling iron skills or makeup application. Honestly, if I'm not attending a
wedding, chances are I'm not bothering with makeup.
- I still hear the phrases "Can I call you back? I need to pay the babysitter." and "Are you going to get your
degree so you can be a teacher?"
- I'm still scared of the dark, although I've made progress in this area. I'm not terrified of it anymore :).
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
The Cooking Miracle
I will be the first one to admit that I don't cook. While I have been known to actually follow a cooking recipe, the process of cooking is highly stressful. For example, the first time I made lasagna I remember having to turn the oven off at one point and go back to the store because I realized that I hadn't brought enough of the ingredients that I needed. When I did cook dinner for myself it usually revolved around chicken....sometimes it was overcooked and sometimes (like the night I invited a friend over for dinner ) it wasn't quite done enough. Yeah, it's rather embarrassing to have your meal on the plate and start cutting your chicken only to find it still very pink. Thank goodness for side dishes to start on while you wait for the main dish to be edible!
I also have this need to have to follow the recipe when cooking. Now I realize that to people who actually enjoy cooking that following a recipe is cheating. Perhaps this is why I'm such a good baker. Afterall, you absolutely need to follow those recipes. It always amazes me to watch Ray cook because he rarely knows what he's going to cook beforehand. He just buys some meat (he doesn't really care for chicken), throws some spices on it (always a different combo, mind you) and uses whatever other food is around to come up with a creative side dish. It always tastes amazing!
For some inexplicable reason I found myself buying chicken this week. I hadn't a clue what I was going to do with it. Last night, though, I decided that I would break out of my mold of following a recipe. Ok, in reality any recipe that I had required ingredients not in my apartment and I didn't feel like going to the store to get them. This predicament forced me to use my creative powers. I had some Italian breading and a variety of spices. I decided to throw some breading in a ziplock bag along with oregano, basil, and adobo. Notice the word throw....I resisted the urge to use some sort of measuring device. I coated the chicken with egg and then put the chicken in the bag, shook it up, and baked it.
The end result? I actually managed to cook the chicken, mashed potatoes (from a box), and frozen broccoli all at the same time without having one completely done a half hour before the others. The chicken was cooked perfectly - white and moist - and tasted delicious! It was a sheer cooking miracle!
Yep, I still get excited about the little things in life :).
I also have this need to have to follow the recipe when cooking. Now I realize that to people who actually enjoy cooking that following a recipe is cheating. Perhaps this is why I'm such a good baker. Afterall, you absolutely need to follow those recipes. It always amazes me to watch Ray cook because he rarely knows what he's going to cook beforehand. He just buys some meat (he doesn't really care for chicken), throws some spices on it (always a different combo, mind you) and uses whatever other food is around to come up with a creative side dish. It always tastes amazing!
For some inexplicable reason I found myself buying chicken this week. I hadn't a clue what I was going to do with it. Last night, though, I decided that I would break out of my mold of following a recipe. Ok, in reality any recipe that I had required ingredients not in my apartment and I didn't feel like going to the store to get them. This predicament forced me to use my creative powers. I had some Italian breading and a variety of spices. I decided to throw some breading in a ziplock bag along with oregano, basil, and adobo. Notice the word throw....I resisted the urge to use some sort of measuring device. I coated the chicken with egg and then put the chicken in the bag, shook it up, and baked it.
The end result? I actually managed to cook the chicken, mashed potatoes (from a box), and frozen broccoli all at the same time without having one completely done a half hour before the others. The chicken was cooked perfectly - white and moist - and tasted delicious! It was a sheer cooking miracle!
Yep, I still get excited about the little things in life :).
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Thoughts on Being Perfect
I had one of those days last week. You know - the kind of day where everything from getting gas to cooking dinner seems to take forever and you're late for everything and you feel like nothing you do is right? That kind of day. There is nothing quite like driving down the road and seeing the bus (which had arrived at least 10 minutes earlier than usual) start pulling away while you realize that you have no idea where the boys you are supposed to be picking up are. Thankfully a very caring mom of one of the other campers had them and everyone was waiting anxiously for me to arrive. SIGH. And that was the way the rest of the afternoon and evening went.
Days like this usually send my mind spiraling down with thoughts of what a horrible, messed up person I am. Not that those thoughts ever help the situation. Usually all they do is stress me out even more. Last week was a little different though. Yes, those thoughts still entered my mind and I did beat myself up a little, however, later that night I read a book - a children's book, mind you - about being perfect. I don't know if you've ever read How to be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days! by Steven Manes, but Ray had recommended it to me and it would be fitting that I would be getting around to reading it on this particular night.
Spoiler alert: In case you really, really, want to read the book for yourself first, it's probably best not to continue reading this post until you're done reading the book.
We meet the main character at the beginning of the story in a library. He's tired of always messing things up and disappointing his parents. As luck would have it, a book practically jumps out at him boasting about how reading it will make one a perfect person in only 3 days. On the first day, the reader is instructed to wear a crown of broccoli around their necks for an entire day. On the second day the reader is instructed to not eat or drink anything (except water or weak tea) for the entire day. Finally, on the last day, the reader is instructed to sit perfectly still and do absolutely nothing.
In case you're wondering, the point of wearing the broccoli was to get the reader over the fear of being publically ridiculed for their actions and the point of not eating, drinking, or doing anything over the next two days was to make the reader understand that in order to be absolutely perfect, you couldn't possibly live any sort of meaningful life. The conclusion? A perfect person is boring and no one wants to be around a boring person.
No, I'm not a perfect person. I often joke that I wear mostly black clothes so that you don't see the coffee and/or chocolate stains, but seriously....it's true! :D I'm sometimes late for appointments; sometimes I forget things altogether. I'm sure my posts contain some sort of grammatical/spelling errors and I often don't have the nicest thoughts or words. I could probably go on...but you get the drift.
That's why it's so important to me that on the days in which my imperfection is more noticeable than others that I remember God's amazing and awesome grace, repent, forgive myself, and move on.
In the words of Anne of Green Gables "Tomorrow is fresh, with no mistakes in it." And in the words of Paul
"....He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;..."
Philippians 1:6
"Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more, 21 so that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Romans 5:20
Days like this usually send my mind spiraling down with thoughts of what a horrible, messed up person I am. Not that those thoughts ever help the situation. Usually all they do is stress me out even more. Last week was a little different though. Yes, those thoughts still entered my mind and I did beat myself up a little, however, later that night I read a book - a children's book, mind you - about being perfect. I don't know if you've ever read How to be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days! by Steven Manes, but Ray had recommended it to me and it would be fitting that I would be getting around to reading it on this particular night.
Spoiler alert: In case you really, really, want to read the book for yourself first, it's probably best not to continue reading this post until you're done reading the book.
We meet the main character at the beginning of the story in a library. He's tired of always messing things up and disappointing his parents. As luck would have it, a book practically jumps out at him boasting about how reading it will make one a perfect person in only 3 days. On the first day, the reader is instructed to wear a crown of broccoli around their necks for an entire day. On the second day the reader is instructed to not eat or drink anything (except water or weak tea) for the entire day. Finally, on the last day, the reader is instructed to sit perfectly still and do absolutely nothing.
In case you're wondering, the point of wearing the broccoli was to get the reader over the fear of being publically ridiculed for their actions and the point of not eating, drinking, or doing anything over the next two days was to make the reader understand that in order to be absolutely perfect, you couldn't possibly live any sort of meaningful life. The conclusion? A perfect person is boring and no one wants to be around a boring person.
No, I'm not a perfect person. I often joke that I wear mostly black clothes so that you don't see the coffee and/or chocolate stains, but seriously....it's true! :D I'm sometimes late for appointments; sometimes I forget things altogether. I'm sure my posts contain some sort of grammatical/spelling errors and I often don't have the nicest thoughts or words. I could probably go on...but you get the drift.
That's why it's so important to me that on the days in which my imperfection is more noticeable than others that I remember God's amazing and awesome grace, repent, forgive myself, and move on.
In the words of Anne of Green Gables "Tomorrow is fresh, with no mistakes in it." And in the words of Paul
"....He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;..."
Philippians 1:6
"Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more, 21 so that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Romans 5:20
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Bathroom Renovations
Last July I moved into my current apartment. Two days before I started moving my possessions in I had a conversation with my landlady about the bathroom. It seems there had been a leak in the bathroom sink and the plumber had come to fix it. I thought this was good until I realized that the cold water would barely come out when I turned on the sink. Simple tasks like washing my hands and face became challenging as burning hot water would start coming out of the sink after a couple of minutes.
Last December the plumber came again because there was a leak in my landlady's bathroom which apparently came from my shower. It seems that the shower needs to be caulked (actually ALOT more needs to be done with it, but that'll be another story I'm sure). While the plumber was there I asked if he could take a look at the sink. His suggestion was to get a new faucet. Now I haven't seen the plumber since, but my landlady did buy a new faucet, which she kept in her house until I asked on June 30th if she'd allow Ray to install it. By this time Ray and I were both very tired of getting our hands burnt.
Last December the plumber came again because there was a leak in my landlady's bathroom which apparently came from my shower. It seems that the shower needs to be caulked (actually ALOT more needs to be done with it, but that'll be another story I'm sure). While the plumber was there I asked if he could take a look at the sink. His suggestion was to get a new faucet. Now I haven't seen the plumber since, but my landlady did buy a new faucet, which she kept in her house until I asked on June 30th if she'd allow Ray to install it. By this time Ray and I were both very tired of getting our hands burnt.
Beginning the process. The bolts on the sink were so rusted over that Ray had to cut them off. The sink stayed this way for a day or two.
The workspace that Ray had. Now, to give you some perspective, the door opens inwards and Ray is over 6 feet tall. He had to crawl under the sink cabinets and the floor space is probably only 3-4 feet long. This was definitely an act of love.
Finally the bolts are off! Guess what....when Ray was cleaning a bunch of gunk out of the cold water pipe it turned out that a screw (probably from the plumber that came to fix the sink last year) fell into the pipe and was keeping the cold water from coming out.
Yay for a new faucet and drain!
Oh, did I mention that the pipe underneath the sink was so old that when Ray went to remove the sink the pipe actually started crumbling in his hand?!? Yep, so he ended up replacing the piping too....with the help of some very good friends who have lots of plumbing experience.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Summer To Do List:
- wake up @9am
- take my time reading devotionals, news articles, favorite blogs, and facebook updates
- clean and organize various aspects of my apartment
- visit and/or call friends and catch up on life
- live without a working bathroom sink while it's undergoing repairs
- eat ice cream on a somewhat daily basis
- write
- go to bed @1am
These are the things that most of my days consist of. Last summer was a whirlwind of activity as I worked, moved, unpacked, and went on dates with Ray. This summer seems like the complete opposite. July hasn't provided much work outside taking care of the boys and while I make decent money doing that, it isn't quite enough (hence why I have a 2nd job) and so I find myself once again holding my breath while I wait to see how God will provide the rent due next week.
This post isn't meant as a means of whining though. Yes, my life has significantly slowed down and funds are low. Yes, there are times when I'm bored out of my mind. Yes, there are times when I berate myself for how unmotivated I feel like being. However, through this time I am learning the value of slowing life down and being content with what I've been given. I'm learning how to be refreshed. After all, it will be all too soon that my days will start early, settle into a chaotic rhythm, and end late; when I'll have difficulty finding time to do the dishes or too tired to put a coherent sentence together and I'll long for these days that I once deemed "boring".
- wake up @9am
- take my time reading devotionals, news articles, favorite blogs, and facebook updates
- clean and organize various aspects of my apartment
- visit and/or call friends and catch up on life
- live without a working bathroom sink while it's undergoing repairs
- eat ice cream on a somewhat daily basis
- write
- go to bed @1am
These are the things that most of my days consist of. Last summer was a whirlwind of activity as I worked, moved, unpacked, and went on dates with Ray. This summer seems like the complete opposite. July hasn't provided much work outside taking care of the boys and while I make decent money doing that, it isn't quite enough (hence why I have a 2nd job) and so I find myself once again holding my breath while I wait to see how God will provide the rent due next week.
This post isn't meant as a means of whining though. Yes, my life has significantly slowed down and funds are low. Yes, there are times when I'm bored out of my mind. Yes, there are times when I berate myself for how unmotivated I feel like being. However, through this time I am learning the value of slowing life down and being content with what I've been given. I'm learning how to be refreshed. After all, it will be all too soon that my days will start early, settle into a chaotic rhythm, and end late; when I'll have difficulty finding time to do the dishes or too tired to put a coherent sentence together and I'll long for these days that I once deemed "boring".
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