Grace

Just one more
taste
text
smoke
drink
bet
look
Just one more time.
The desire is so urgent; so immanent
The fulfillment is so fleeting; so superficial

Just one more time
then I'll quit.
This time for good.
I can do it
you'll see,
but first let me do this
just one more time.

Guilt shrouds around me
a cloak too heavy to wear.
I stumble under its weight
and my heart aches;
longing to fill the void
I reach once again for
the phone
cigarette
glass
ticket
remote
telling myself
just one more time.

My will is too weak
so I cry out to You.
Undeserving, unworthy
humble, repentent.
You hear my cry;
see my heart
and You alone give me strength
to make it the next hour.
Though I may still stumble,
Your grace intercedes
and flows over me
like a spring rain.

In the words of a good friend "Only God can relieve an obsession....if we let Him".