Renting an apartment plus buying a car (even a lower end one without the power locks/windows) gets very expensive and despite working 2-3 jobs I still have a hard time paying all the bills. Over the years I have seen God provide for my financial needs through a random check coming in the mail (my all time favorite answer to prayer!), an extremely lenient landlord who let me pay rent in increments because he knew I was a good tenant, and plenty of work during the summer.
Last summer God tested my faith because he allowed my job to give me very minimum hours for some reason. Although I was able to pay my bills for July and most of August I was severely lacking in rent money for September and my current landlady is not so generous in letting me pay incrementally since it's become very apparent that she needs my money to pay her mortgage. At the time Ray was working for a contractor and the pay was very hit or miss. He was able to help me out by giving me a little money, but ultimately I had to make the dreaded call home to my parents to ask for money. Now don't get me wrong, they were more than willing to help me out and gave me even more money than I had asked. However, I questioned God as to why He didn't provide for me because I felt that asking my parents for money lacked faith. While this may be true, I've also come to realize that not everyone has parents that can afford to pay a month's rent on top of their bills without blinking an eye and maybe God did provide for my needs through my parents.
This summer hasn't been much different. I've already had to use a great deal of money from my savings account to help pay for August's rent and I didn't get many tutoring hours for the month of July. I also will stop my babysitting job at the end of this week because camp is out of session and their mom won't need my help until September which I can't do since I'm going back to school. The other week I started getting a knot in my stomach just thinking about how hard it would be to afford September's rent and the car payment and wondering if God would provide for me this year. Despite finances stressing me out God has shown me several important truths about my situation.
1) I have a savings account this year with money still in it. This in itself is a huge blessing and one that I don't always have every summer.
2) He gave Ray a steady job in April with a good income. Although we're not married yet and I kinda feel weird asking him for more money (let's face it, he already pays for my groceries, laundry, and date nights) Ray can and is very willing to help support me in this area.
3) I picked up a lot more tutoring hours this week which was very unexpected and will increase the paycheck I receive next week.
Just because God isn't providing for me the way I'd like him to (being mailed a very large check), He has always, and will continue, to provide for me. This doesn't mean I won't continue to hope for a check in the mail - you never know! :)
“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
Mathew 6:31-34
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