I often marvel on how similar I am to my students. Seriously. Austic children have a very low tolerance to change. While over the years I've become better at going along with the flow of life, I've yet to fully embrace change with any sort of positive attitude. Usually I experience sadness and anxiety, no matter how good the change will be. It's sort of like watching the skies grow darker and hearing the thunder get louder as you're out doing errands without an umbrella. That sense of dread as you realize that any moment now the downpour will be released from the heavens and you're going to get soaked.
Normally my weekly schedule is on the insane side. It is so routine however that it doesn't seem overwhelming in the least. Unfortunately this weekend I ran over a nail. I had actually started pulling out of the laundromat's parking lot when I noticed that something wasn't right with the car. Thankfully I was 5 minutes away from Ray's house, God protected me while driving, I didn't have any children in my car or anywhere I needed to immediately be, and Ray's an expert at changing my flat tires since I have a habit of running over things (like nails and curbs). Of course on a Saturday evening there isn't anyone open, so I didn't travel far on my donut and fully anticipated getting a new tire today (also very grateful for having available funds in my account). Unfortunately my tires aren't as easy to get as one might think. Sears actually had a tire that may have worked, but it wasn't entirely recommended and it would have cost $150. This means that I need to go to my mechanic tomorrow.....at 7am. Ick. Ick. Ick. I'm thinking of shortening my morning routine a bit so that I don't have to get out of bed at 5am. In addition, I'm not sure whether my mechanic will have my tire in stock that early in the morning so he may need my car for the day. This means either calling a taxi (which I really don't see spending the money on) or taking the bus and walking to work. On the plus side it'll get in the excercise I never get scheduled into my life :).
Yep, so far Monday is going to be more complicated than I'd like. On Wednesday I have a guest coming to stay with me for a week. She's someone from my church who is between housing options and is currently couch hopping. This brings up many concerns: Will my landlady be upset?, how will she get along with my cats?, how will our schedules conflict?, what potential personality conflicts will there be? How much stuff is she bringing and where is it going to go? So many questions and so few answer. Now I'm sure things will be fine, but it's a little nerve-wracking.
On Thursday I'm going with my class on a field trip to the Bronx Zoo, which would be exhasting enough except that I'm also supposed to pick Jeremy up from his school in NJ which I've only driven to once and then get him to social group back in Valley Cottage. I definitely think a scheduled coffee stop is in order! :D
This is all of the things I know of....who knows what else will go on this week. With all of that said, I'm choosing trust in God over fear of the unknown. He will be my strength when I am weak, my Peace which passes all understanding, and my Hope when things look bleak.
"For You are my hope, O Lord God; You are my trust from my youth." Psalm 71:5
"Everything is possible for him who believes." Mark 9:23
"Seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face evermore!" 1 Chronicles 16:11
"Trust in Him at all times you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." Psalm 62:8
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