My journey wasn't nearly as smooth as I'd have liked and I had many setbacks. Some of the highlights of this incredible journey was substituting as a reading teacher which began my quest to also become an elementary reading specialist one day, two years of teaching pre-school, and going back to school for degrees in both literacy and special education. These peaks were far and few between and included valleys such as spending two months as a long-term sub and then suddenly getting dismissed without so much as a thank you when a permanent teacher was found, spending 5 years as an assistant where I lost my passion and desire to pursue a teaching career, being told by my principal that she would never hire me because I was only an assistant, and going on 20 something interviews all with the same ending, and becoming entangled in my fear of driving into the city on a daily basis.
From 2008 - 2015 I lived just above the poverty line, earning less than $20,000 per year (before taxes) which did little more than cover my $1000 monthly rent. Before I met Ray I became a vegetarian due to the high price of meat. I often worked 2-3 jobs a day to pay my bills. During my first year of marriage I was the only one working consistently and quickly found out that my salary wasn't going to sustain two people and it's really hard to connect with your spouse when you're running around between multiple jobs. I was in the middle of a valley and it felt like one of those canyons Indiana Jones rode narrowly rode through in the Ark of the Covenant.
Even so, God had been subtly working in my heart. He never forgot the desires of my 9 year old self. When I would tell friends or acquaintances my journey of struggle several recommended I look into teaching in the city. Every single interview helped me be better prepared. One of the blessings of Ray not being able to drive was that I was "forced" to learn how to drive into the city. Even getting lost on the way to an interview in the worst section of the South Bronx was a blessing from God because He showed me how much He cared for me by helping me find my way and getting a parking spot near the school. In August 2015 I applied to a charter school in the Bronx whose mission of helping "the most vulnerable children of the Bronx" stirred up a long-lost longing in my heart. I was called for an interview with a demo lesson. By this point I had gotten so used to needing to have a demo lesson that I didn't feel as stressed out as I used to over needing to prepare - although I do remember staying up late the night before trying to think of every possible contingency I might encounter. The demo lesson was the same day that Ray and I had planned on going to Great Adventure, so that morning we packed everything we needed for the day and Ray came with me so that we could leave for Great Adventure right after my interview. 3 hours later I was done with my interview and for the first time ever I had a strong feeling that I would be getting a phone call with a job offer. Sure enough, on our way down to Great Adventure, I got a call with an offer to be a 4th grade teacher!
This past year was intense. I switched classrooms, I came early, I worked late, I worked on Saturdays. I had a flat tire on my way to work, locked my car keys inside my car twice,drove in the snow, and sat in traffic for two hours each way. There were days I absolutely loved my job and there were days I never wanted to go back. No matter what, God showed up. He renewed my passion when I felt burnt out. He eased traffic on a Friday afternoon after a long week of commuting. He gave my favor with not only my co-teacher, but with the 4th grade team, and the principal. He even allowed me to have perfect attendance!
In May a survey went out asking what grade we wanted to teach the following year. There were 3 options. I went out on a limb and wrote down Reading Teacher. In June my principal asked me to write out a job description for Reading Teacher since we didn't have that position.
On Monday I will be starting my new position as Reading Intervention Teacher! Although there are many uncertainties, such as my schedule, that need to be worked out, this much I know. I will be teaching reading throughout the entire school and I will be leading professional development on reading strategies for the other teachers in the building. I have reached a new mountaintop peak and the view from here is amazing.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight."
Psalm 37: 4 says "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."
Looking back on my journey I can say with conviction that I know these promises of God are true. Even when I forgot my own dreams and desires of my heart, God never did and He will continue to hold my dreams of Ray having a fulfilling, steady career, having a family, and Ray finding true freedom as long as I keep delighting in and trusting my Lord.
